Advice from Mr. Hatter

Mr. Hatter, 

Offshore drilling isn't the problem here. I grew up on the gulf coast and in the industry and am all too familiar. What happened there was a catastrophic failure and is not the norm. I acknowledge and support the need for alternative technologies, but they are not here today and if they are, they do not provide enough energy for the masses to be cost effective (wind, solar). God gave us oil just as he gave us the alternatives, so we must use it in the most responsible manner possible. You can't govern based on emotion and fear which is also what the US is good at. I support our oil and gas industry and those working in it. 

Corn as a fuel is just another joke. It takes more energy to produce ethanol (corn based) than you get out of it? It drives up corn prices because the fuel use competes with the food use. How is that cost effective or smart when you'll pay more to eat it or put it in your tank? And wind farms? I'm all for it but from my understanding you'd need thousands of farms the size of the one they just completed off the east coast to equal the output generated by oil. I'm all for alternatives but at this point, they're complimentary products at best. Drill here, drill now. What do you suggest we do?

Signed,

Drill Baby Drill

Dear Baby Driller,

This isn't about finding alternative fuels. The resources and technology are there. This is about greed. Toooo many people make big money keeping the industry afloat rather than branching out into alternative resources. Solar and wind have the potential to go a long way but oil lobbyists have been extremely effective in shutting down many projects before they get started. One of their biggest claims is that alternative energy isn't cost effective right now to explore. Huh? Yet we keep throwing our money into a resource that won't exist if our usage continues like it is.

It reminds me of the whaling industry in America around its peak in 1846-52 in search of whale oil. Whalers kept killing. Whales kept dying. Fewer and fewer were to be found. The ships had to go out further and further. Whaling ships used to be out only for 4 months at a time. Then it became years. The longest voyage at that time was recorded at 11 years. The whale was becoming extinct. Then, ironically, along came oil and saved the whale. The industry finally changed gears about 1927. Who knows what might have happened if the drilling... I mean whaling continued.

Our consumption is killing us. We are too reliant on this form of energy. As a result of this ease to consume we have become lazy. Now where am I going with this? Try walking to the store instead of jumping in your car. Ride your bike to work. Health problems are on the uprise and diseases like diabetes (which was once thought only to be hereditary) have taken a strong hold. Obesity is taking over. We are not exercising enough. Sounds like I'm reaching, but I'm not. It is easy to find healthy and alternative ways to travel. Some believe it is easier to turn on the gas pump... until there isn't anything left to pump.

This isn't some hippie dippy radical liberal cause. We need to examine history. We need to THINK and find better ways to produce energy that keeps the earth a green environment to live in. Our consumption doesn't only use up the oil. The rain forests are dying at a rapid rate as well do to pollution. Animals are becoming extinct. That might not mean anything to some people, but I believe in karma. There is no law or rule that says people will live forever and won't become extinct someday as well. WE NEED to leave behind an Earth to inherit. 

With the upmost sincerity,

Mr. Hatter

Advice from Mr. Hatter

Mr. Hatter,

I am so tired of liberals using race cards and using that issue to gain an advantage in society. The reason that Arizona made the Arizona Immigration Law was because without it, the only action that the state could take against an illegal alien was to turn them over to INS and we have seen what an effective job they have done. With this law, Arizona is saying that being an illegal alien in their State is now a State crime and can be prosecuted at the State level. The first offense is jail time up to 6 months and a fine of up to $2,500. This has nothing to do with racial profiling. It is a State exerting its rights to govern within their borders. That is a right given to them by the Constitution. If their law were illegal then this would be a different debate.


Our government has procedures now in place to prevent companies from hiring illegals so I don't feel industry is that big a problem. But day labor where a person goes to a gathering spot of illegals and hires a illegal for the day and pays whatever he wants to to paint a house or plant flowers is not fair to the illegal or to the legals here. That is a problem that fuels illegal immigration and I don't think anyone knows how to fix that issue I know I am not smart enough to. But I do know this bill in Arizona is not meant to harass or racial profile citizens. It is meant to provide the state law enforcement agencies the ability to do what our federal government has failed to do that is protect citizens from crime committed by illegals. There is a drug war raging between Mexican authorities and drug cartels on the south side of our border and it does spill over the border at times. If this war continues south of the border and our federal government does not protect its citizens on our side of our border then the states will have to do the job. The lack of the feds to do so is purely politics and the need to protect votes for both parties. That is a the true problem and is not right like I said maybe we should start arresting the politicians who do not uphold the oath they take when they are sworn in. 

Remember, they are not banning legal aliens or immigrants, just the ones that break the law to get here. Wrong is wrong. I came here legally, the others that come here should too.

Signed,
Legal 



Dear Legal,

I too do not begin to claim I have all the answers. I know about the rancher that was killed in Arizona after he caught drug traffickers n his land. There is a drug war going on, but I feel that has more to do with legalizing marijuana than chasing down illegal immigrants. Jobs are being given to illegal immigrants at poor wages. The jobs these workers are finding however are usually in poor conditions at poverty wages. Not the typical career that our fellow Americans look for in finding employment. These jobs are usually the worst of the worst. I think there needs to be a better program that is available that allows immigrants to come into this country and work for their visa. The problem is that the law that was past makes everyone look suspicious. If racial profiling isn't a part of this law, then just what is the definition of racial profiling? I mean isn't it when you look at someone and based on those looks pull them over and ask questions.....using looks as probably cause? Legal definition: Probable cause is a level of reasonable belief, based on facts that can be articulated, that is required to sue a person in civil court or to arrest and prosecute a person in criminal court. Before a person can be sued or arrested and prosecuted, the civil plaintiff or police and prosecutor must possess enough facts that would lead a reasonable person to believe that the claim or charge is true.

The probable cause standard is more important in Criminal Law than it is in Civil Law because it is used in criminal law as a basis for searching and arresting persons and depriving them of their liberty. Civil cases can deprive a person of property, but they cannot deprive a person of liberty. In civil court a plaintiff must possess probable cause to levy a claim against a defendant. If the plaintiff does not have probable cause for the claim, she may later face a Malicious Prosecution suit brought by the defendant. Furthermore, lack of probable cause to support a claim means that the plaintiff does not have sufficient evidence to support the claim, and the court will likely dismiss it.

In the criminal arena probable cause is important in two respects. First, police must possess probable cause before they may search a person or a person's property, and they must possess it before they may arrest a person. Second, in most criminal cases the court must find that probable cause exists to believe that the defendant committed the crime before the defendant may be prosecuted.

There are some exceptions to these general rules. Police may briefly detain and conduct a limited search of a person in a public place if they have a reasonable suspicion that the person has committed a crime. Reasonable suspicion is a level of belief that is less than probable cause. A police officer possesses reasonable suspicion if he has enough knowledge to lead a reasonably cautious person to believe that criminal activity is occurring and that the individual played some part in it. In practice this requirement means that an officer need not possess the measure of knowledge that constitutes probable cause to Stop and Frisk a person in a public place. In any case, an officer may not arrest a person until the officer possesses probable cause to believe that the person has committed a crime.

 Now on the home front, technically, I'd like to remind everyone that if you are Caucasian then your ancestry is from Europe, which makes your an immigrant. The people that are native to North America had their land stolen from them by immigrants. Is that what so many people are afraid of here? That our way of life will be taken over by yet another group of immigrants. The majority of people that fear about their God given rights to protect their borders have ancestors that came to the same shores and borders in search of a better life. Why would anyone want to leave THEIR country for OURS. Lets see... maybe opportunity. Maybe freedom. Maybe out of fear that their family will not survive another year of persecution in their home land. Poverty. Many sailed to this country before it was settled all those years before immigration laws for those very reasons.

No, I believe the issue is much greater than that. Racial profiling is another word for racism. Plain and simple. That is really what is being said. That is why Native Americans were stuck on reservations usually out in areas of poor agriculture in hopes of killing off a species. That is the reason we created concentration camps in WWII in order to round up all the oriental looking people. You could yell "Pearl Harbor!", but not one of those prisoners that were sent to American concentration camps flew a plane or bombed a US Navy vessel. It is why our country fought against equal rights for so many years. You can tell a woman she doesn't have the right to vote because she doesn't have a penis, even though she can compassionately make better decisions than a man. You can spray down with a hose a person of African descent if they yell for equal opportunity. You can try to humiliate them. You can beat them in order to try and repress their natural feeling to me human like you or me. But no matter how hard you beat a person, you can't beat the color off their back. Therefore, you can't beat down who they are and the pride that goes along with a persons heritage. And yet there is still small minded thinking in this country that believes that you can. People racing to the borders with guns to protect our homeland from strangers. Remember the Alamo? Oh wait... I lost my place... what side am I talking about again? I guess it is our schools fault for not teaching AMERICAN HISTORY the way it needs to be taught. If anything we can also learn from World History and what the Jewish people had to endure and overcome. They didn't show their green cards to authorities in Germany because they were already required to wear stars.

There are those that say we can't open our borders to just anybody. People come into this country illegally because they feel like they do not have many options otherwise. It is hard to obtain anything, especially citizenship, when you have nothing of your own (including a country that doesn't support you) to start out with. If we can create a system that allows immigrants to inter into this country and be productive American citizens, then I say why not.  We are all originally from other parts of the globe. We bring our cultures to this land and share our experiences with each other. That is what makes the UNITED States of America the ultimate dream of freedom for so many immigrants. It is the freedom of being able to live in our own skins without persecution. What, other than appearance, would make a law enforcement official "reasonably suspect" that someone was here illegally? I think Arizona needs to rethink and come up with a better plan instead of a plan for attack.


Sincerely,
Mr. Hatter

Advice from Mr. Hatter

Mr. Hatter,

In a recent interview, John Mayer reconfirmed that we have not progressed much since the times of the Civil Rights movement. It seems that he feels somehow connected with people of other races, so much so that he can insult and ignore a long and tired road it has been to equality. I guess he knows what it was like to march with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on the front steps of Washington. Has Mr. Mayer ever sat at the back of a bus? Has he ever been denied a table at a restaurant? Has he ever been told that he doesn't have the right to speak his mind based on the color of his skin? I seriously doubt that he has had much conflict in his young and successful life. 

So here is a curve ball right back at you John Mayer. White performers have always have always had success from claiming Black artists works. I can only imagine this is the case for Mayer since he shows so little lack of respect for his so called "BROTHERS" or an entire race by using the word "NIGER" and claiming to be one. I tried to ignore the babbling opinions of an over rated pop star, but turning my back on the issue makes me feel as guilty as the person that committed the crime. Go back 30, 40, or even 50 years. Would Mayer be another man with a guitar around his neck or just another obstacle with a whip in his hands? We do not chose to be politically correct when the mood strikes us. We have to make it a way of life for the future and the past. 

What is your take on this? If you proclaim to truly give people advice, then I'm curious to see how you would address a topic as serious and painful as this exhausting cry for equality. Do you even have the courage to address the issue?  

 Signed,

Me, and a history of being proud of it 

Dear Mr. or Miss Proud,

I am extremely grateful for you insight. I love to talk about things I know little about. But occasionally I come across a topic that I understand all too well. I don't find myself lacking the courage to talk about the topic of racism but it makes me feel very sad that we STILL are. I don't, however, give up hope that future generations look back and think "how could that be?" after finding the answers to the dream.

Let me start by saying that a fool never worries what others will think regarding what he or she has said. Knowing this, you must understand that the wisest man was once the greatest fool. Why else would he climb the highest peak by himself only to spend his days thinking in solitude? For the most part it is because he has alienated everyone around him and now needs the time alone to reflect on his decisions. In no way am I calling John Mayer wise. Just listen to his music for that enquiry. What I am saying is that Johnny Boy needs to find a mountain to climb and stay up there until he is ready to come down and be a man. 

I am not here to defend the babbling immaturity of a fool. But I can not deny that I have been one myself. What starts out so innocently as curiosity on the playground, turns into (if not monitored or nurtured) a bitter attack on everything different from ourselves while even alienating us from our own flesh. The color of our skin is easy to detect and differentiate. But it goes past that. Is it a boy or a girl? Where is he from? What church does she go to? Is he dating him? Well, you know... those people always do that. We start grouping, isolating, finger pointing, and insulting everything that doesn't fall under "OUR" category. 

The funny thing is that if you turned our bodies inside out you couldn't tell each other apart. 

"Was that David?" 

"No I think that was Tom."

"How can you tell?"

"Tom is taller."

"OOOOOHHHH yes, of course." And then it begins to start all over again.

Am I saying that the age old problem is human nature? Well being different is human nature. It is also human nature to process, evaluate, and make logical conclusions on how to coexist with each other. It is human nature to love. We are one of the few species on this planet that have that capability. We are primal but our ability to comprehend the world around us is a true gift. We can rise above our own ignorance. I have never enjoyed racist or sexiest jokes, but I have heard them. So that must mean that I was listening. As a child I lashed out even though it felt wrong. It was being done to me so why not do it back.  I said things I heard others say, even towards friends. One day I realized I didn't have to listen to the jokes. It was okay to speak through my heart and tell people they were out of line. I began to grow up and value the differences in culture, language, and color. I value the differences in each other. That is something I spread around very freely. You are right Proud, you have to work on it everyday and I did.

In Martin Luther King's last speech he said, "Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!"

I believe that land is here and that time is now. That is the hope I carry around in my pocket. Times are changing. Little by little we are spreading the word that racism is wrong. My kids have the same color of skin that I do, but I will never let them forget all the generations, nationalities, struggles that were met with victories, and beautiful colors it took to pave the road we are on to that mountain Dr. King spoke of. Slowly we have changed our narrow minded opinions of each other. There is still work to do but together we can change the world.

Sincerley,

Mr. Hatter

Advice From Mr. Hatter

Hatter,

My wife doesn't understand THE GAME. I know the seasons of the year by what sporting event is on the TV. Every weekend  I turn on the boob tube and open up a cold one. Then I get that look from her. "You are drinking now", or the old all time favorite, " Well I guess your day is over". It's THE GAME! I'm a guy! That is what we do! That is why they call it the WEEK-END! How do I get her to understand.


Signed,
Pissed Off Before Kickoff


Dear Mr. Pissed,

I don't watch many games because I play them all week. The ones involving the mind I find most interesting. Being a regular patron of the drink, however, is where I can relate to you. In my world, clocks never work so I have adapted the old philosophy that it must be 5:00 somewhere. Hehehehe! The only problem with that is if there is an open bar that is always at happy hour with no signs of closing time, then life and liver can totally become inoperable.

There must be a work to play time ratio that allows you the ying yang your life and wife need on the home front. Try this formula:

1) Wake up late on Saturday with a good spooning hold to the missus. Morning snuggles buys you points lat er on in the weekend. Add one hour for time to clean up and make yourself look presentable. You may be married, but you captured her interests once before, so keep throwing out the bait. Did you like the sporty fishing term? HAHAHA!

2) Add 30 minutes to dress the part. Need to work in the yard? Change the oil in the old moving carriage? A uniform makes the man look important. Every sport has a uniform. At least walk around the house with tools. Not only does it make you look busy, but it adds that mystery that women love. What is he doing now? Remember too that sweat becomes attractive when it is applied to fixing something, and YES, there is always something to fix.

3) For every child add one hour for good fatherly time. Don't forget to throw in the occasional "shit my father says" quotes. This is how your children will truly remember you and this is your legacy. Funny banter whether meant for a joke or lack of intelligence is always memorable and meaningful.

4) Add two hours and 30 minutes for housework. Make yourself look busy and try and break a sweat. If you can't break a sweat then throw some water on your forehead when the Missus isn't looking. But if you are really doing the housework, then sweating won't be a problem. Feel the pain.

5) If you have a yard then add two hours and 45 minutes. No yard, then home projects time or work on the old car. You can shoot for two hours here but don't forget to clean up. Yes, you have to be responsible for your messes now. Mama doesn't live with you anymore.

6) Add 1 hour to help with dinner. By this point it should be beer-thirty. Of course the minute you sit down on the couch you will fall asleep before you get that first cold one. The game is probably over by this point too. That is why the gods created TVO. But don't forget the dishes and getting those kids in bed. Add another two hours for this after you read to them. Think of speed reading as a sport and try and work on your time for fastest score. I warn you though, that after a while content will take over and you will start reading slower. Content has more difficulty and the judging is a lot higher at this point.

7) WAIT! don't relax yet. Did you walk the dog? Another 45 minutes. Don't forget the baggies or you will be catching crap from the neighbors.

Another option outside of this equation is to have the missus start drinking when you do. I have discovered many things in my world travels, but two lessons apply to this problem. The first is that people get bitchy when they are not included. The other is that people complain because they have a reason to. Don't be that reason. You're married now. If it were not for woman, man would still be scratching his ass staring at the cave wall. Woman was cold and wanted warmth. Man had to create fire. Woman wanted a home with a view. You moved out of the cave and now you live where you do. Welcome to forced productivity and get used to it. When you understand "THAT', then she will understand "THE GAME".

Sincerly,

Mr. Hatter

Advice From Mr. Hatter

Dear Hatter,

I just met the girl of my dreams and it has been a wonderful few weeks together. Her Birthday is coming up and I don’t know what to get her. What do you give a woman that has everything a person could possibly want? Isn’t giving her my heart enough?

Signed,

Hopelessly In Love


Dear Mr. Hopeless,

Excuse me for a minute. BARF! You are new at this couples thing, aren’t you? The only thing your heart is going to buy you is the good intension of spending the day with her and a long history of dating other women because you dropped the ball on this one. So you are telling me a couple of things here. You are telling me that you are too lame to find that really unique gift that makes her want to open up to you like a blooming rose. It doesn’t sound like you are ready for that anyway Romeo. You are also saying that the fantasy woman of interest has a lot of stuff lying around. I’ll help you with the second notion. Come a little closer because I don’t want you to miss it. Storage bins. Yeah that’s right. Storage bins. What you are saying is that you think she has really cool junk and you want to help her organize it so that she knows where everything is. If you are handy, make her a display cabinet so she can put up her crap all nice and neat so that her palace ends up looking like an Art Gallery. You would be showing the domestic nesting side of yourself which would throw her off because you’re not asking for sex from a tacky piece of lingerie that is REALLY for you, and that you really care about her interests enough to really want to get to know her. Remove the idea of sex (especially around her Birthday) from her head and yours and you will see how fast that blooming rose theory works.

If you want her for ever, then make her a fancy shoe rack so that she can display all those toe holders she has in the closet. All women (and I mean ALL women) be they short, tall, big, small, timid, wild, straight, or gay LOVE shoes. Is that sexist to say? Yes. Is it true? You try and prove me wrong. In fact they love other people’s shoes as much as their own. You know what… don’t get her anything. Save up your money and buy yourself a nice gleaming pair of shoes. Make them look good so that she wants to parade you around. Women want to be with a man that has great taste. I guess the real reason they look at shoes so much is because to them they are the key to the soul. They what to know that the person they are with isn’t constantly stepping in shit, especially their future boyfriends.

Sincerely,

Mr. Hatter

Advice From Mr. Hatter

Dear Mr. Hatter,


It seems that the more I date the more I realize that all the good men are already taken. There has to be one guy out there that isn't a total a@#hole! How come I can't find him? 


Sincerely,


Done With Dating


My Dear Ms. Dating,

To understand this problem more clearly you must understand that there is no "GOOD ONE" out there. There are only men and they are all the same. I'd like to tell you a little story that goes way way back. I'm sure you heard the story of Adam and Eve. Well now let me tell you the REAL happenings... the behind the scenes if you will of what went on back in those days. That garbage about the asp and how apples are bad for you is complete rubbish. It has been medically shown that apples are indeed good for you and probably healthier than dating. As far as snakes go... well they are just cool and I always felt the snake got the bad rap in this story. Nature usually does when it comes to religion.

You see the Garden was paradise. The problem was Eve. Women are complex creatures that crave change and have an exhilaration in ambition. It wasn't enough to be in the most beautiful garden in the world. She wanted to change a few things. She didn't like where the roses went over the wall and the poppies made her sneeze. She got cold and wanted to keep warm. So they wore leaves but they didn't look right to her. She wanted the lion to open up and not bury his feelings. If he enjoyed meet, then he should have it. Eve wanted more people around. She wanted to multiply. She wanted children. It was a nice place to live, but it was not her idea. It could be better.

Adam was your typical man. If it ain't broke, then don't fix it. Adam didn't have a problem with letting it hang out and just living day to day in much the same way. Why mess with a good thing. He could wake up late, shoot a couple of holes with the hyenas, talk shit with asp, never have to do the yard work, and be back in time to watch the nature bowl. To top it all off, he had his lovely Eve to keep him company. He didn't need other people around and he definitely didn't want children.

The only problem was that Eve was not happy. She packed up her leaves and left Adam in the Garden. She wanted adventure and had too many ideas bouncing around in her head to just set around and look at flowers. To be honest, Adam didn't noticed Eve's absence at first. He was happy... for a while. All men think they have it made when they think they are "FREE". But the reality is "FREEDOM" doesn't mean jack when the only company you keep is a good firm hand shack and mindless banter.

So with a heavy heart he too left the comforts of the Garden in search of Eve. The Asp dropped his arms and legs in disbelief. Adam searched the entire world for Eve. Then when he had just about given up hope he found her in the most desolate region of the planet. It was hot and dry. Dust gave the landscape variety. Adam begged Eve to go back to the Garden but she refused. He could stay there with her or leave but she wasn't going to budge.

Adam asked Eve why she wanted to stay in a hell of a place like this. She simply said, "Because it has potential".

Eve and Adam had many children, planted food on dry land, learned to navigate water, learned the value of hard work, learned the value of each other, and built their dream home with their own hands. You could say hindsight is 20/20, but I think they lived happily ever after.

So the moral of the story is that there are no good men or good women (for that matter) out there on the meat market. You see it takes two to make a couple and it takes the ambition and energy of a woman to open up the heart and true spirit of a man. Ms. Dating, you should move to the desert and wait for the Asp to follow.